A Monkey's Revenge - My Blog

Nov 2, 2011

FREE advice for aspiring photographers

JR's guide to training as a royal fauxtographer.....

HERE is another product you may want to compare to my FREE advice.

1. Buy digi camera and huge long lens,(expensive but you will recoup the money in 3 weeks).

2. Hang around everywhere the royals go and press shutter button as soon as they appear. DO NOT let go until they have driven/walked/ridden out of shot.

3. Caption all your photos 'EXCLUSIVE' and phone picture desks telling them you have exciting images showing the royal family.That way you can clean up if Prince Phillip gets a cold or some other unusual story.

4. Learn the names of all the royals and their hangers-on. Practise shouting "Kate, over 'ere lav" so that you can get those great eye-contact shots that sell so well.

5. Scruffy ripped jeans and big boots are the order of the day. Who gives a stuff if the Queen demands everybody wears top hat and tails? Your much more important than everybody else there, including the royals. Do they want the publicity or not?